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Post by Wigglesnapper on Aug 20, 2009 22:23:16 GMT -8
Post all your funny jokes here!
If it is an offensive joke (prejudice, racist, sexist, etc..) then pm Sam to make sure it's clear!
I'm not gonna bother asking.
I don't care how racist, prejudice, sexist, etc. you are in this thread because those jokes are funny as hell.
(modified by fudgikillz)
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Post by fudgikillz on Aug 20, 2009 23:50:37 GMT -8
What's the leading cause of pedophilia in America? Sexy kids. What's the worst thing a mother can say to her child? I should have swallowed you when I had the chance. whats the hardest part about rollerblading? telling your dad youre gay. and now for an epic joke.... I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.” I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.” And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car. (stole these from www.left4dead411.com/forums/showthread.php?p=308041)Note: i don't care how racist, sexist or whatever you are in this thread.
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Post by Wigglesnapper on Aug 21, 2009 8:56:07 GMT -8
Lol good jokes how do you fit 400 Jews in a VW beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 395 in the ashtray. (I'm not gonna post the jokes that I told in the den) what's the difference between a porche, and s pile of dead babies? I don't have a porche in my garage What's the difference between my grandparents and chili? I'm not having chili for lunch why did the chicken cross the road? RAGE why did the chicken cross the road? 420 Credit for the baby joke goes to ben life. And Jew joke goes to some guy on trade.
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Post by wazza on Mar 2, 2010 18:17:01 GMT -8
nice one Austin i guess congrats actually go to Ben life that made me lol pretty good ;D
now for the pun side of things
"A hungry clock goes back four seconds." "7 days without pizza makes one weak." "A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat" "why did the spy sleep in... because he was undercover" "What kind of self defense do pigs learn... Pork Chop" "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure" "I had a huge argument with the manager of my local Italian restaurant. But I gave him a pizza my mind" "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now." "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'." "A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it." "Atheism is a non-prophet organization." "I’ve been reading something very interesting — Stephen Hawking’s latest book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down."
and this one is just bad.
"Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor. Period."
the best and if u didn't get them look at my signiture... and if u still don't get them... SLAP cuz I PIDY DE FOO!!!
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Post by Wigglesnapper on Mar 2, 2010 19:18:48 GMT -8
I'll post a few that I've used and some new ones.
Whats worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing 1 baby to ten trees.
Whats harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My boner while doing it.
What's the difference between nailing a baby to a tree and nailing a jew to a tree? Nothing. It's perfectly fine to do either.
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Post by wazza on Mar 2, 2010 20:12:32 GMT -8
i don't know about that last one kinda lame... it seems like you have a trend with your jokes, and its kinda getting old, try something new.
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Post by wazza on Nov 15, 2011 23:45:21 GMT -8
Red Leader = Cole Red Five = Ben
Red Leader: do you have spare fisrt tmr? Red Five: don't think so Red Leader: sucks Red Five: negatron Red Leader: lame Red Leader: i have one Red Leader: so i am gonna have an optimus sleep Red Five: nice
After i pulled this one off, i was super stoked with myself, don't think ben appreciated the awesome (blame it on the fact that he was tired).
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Post by wazza on Feb 8, 2012 18:57:48 GMT -8
A party was organized for a crowd of toad-stools. It was very crowded, but they were all happy....
There wasn't mush-room, but they didn't mind because they were all such fungi's.
(I'm sorry. That last one was in spore taste)
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